


Broken Hearts

by RumbleFish14



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluffy, Friendship, In Love, M/M, No Sex, Soulmates, Spencer is grieving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 05:12:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13652121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RumbleFish14/pseuds/RumbleFish14
Summary: SPENCER IS TRING TO GET OVER THE DEATH AND MURDER OF GIDEON BUT ISNT DOING SO WELL, HE WONT TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF....SO DEREK STEPS IN.





	Broken Hearts

Broken Hearts  
A Moreid One-Shot

Spencer studied the chess board in front of him, he had been contemplating his next more for the better part of an hour. In that hour, Spencer was very aware that the office was no longer in operation. Most of the lights in the bullpen were off except his. Under normal circumstances, he would have finished the game hours ago and beaten everyone out of the building, but his mind wasn’t in it tonight.

Spencer had been this way since they finished that last case; Gideon’s murder. That was something he never thought would happen; Gideon dying that is. Maybe a long time from now due to old age, but never murder. When he’d gotten the call, it took his brain over an hour to comprehend it.

Until he walked into Gideon’s cabin and saw his team gathered around a body on the floor, with a blood stained white sheet to cover the body, he hadn’t believed it. Spencer vaguely remembered hearing Garcia asking Hotch if he was sure, and Spencer would always remember those two words; “It’s Gideon.”

He had run from the cabin with tears in his eyes. It had been the worst day of his entire life. They caught the murderer and gave Jason the peace that he deserved. But now, he wasn’t sure what to do with himself. The next day, Spencer realized he would never play a game of chess with Gideon ever again. They would never share one of Gideon’s pricey, but totally worth it, milkshakes. Of all the things they shared, chess remained at the front of his mind. That’s what made him bring his mini chess board from home and pretend he wasn’t miserable.

Spencer had his hand hovering over a piece, getting ready to move his knight, when a door opened and closed behind him; Rossi’s door. It would have to have been someone, just not this someone. This someone, would tell him he should leave. Of course, it would be Rossi. 

“Hey kid, you should be getting some rest.” Rossi smiled sadly, holding onto his suit jacket.

Spencer turned in his seat and looked up, hiding all the pain and loneliness he felt. “Yeah, I’m going. I was just waiting for the crowds to die down a little. Too much close contact around the subways.”

Rossi looked at his watch. “Reid, it’s after 10:30. I’m sure all the crowds died down long ago.”

Spencer turned to look at the unfinished game of chess, so much for trying to sneak it past him. “Yeah, I’m gong wrap it up and head home.”

Rossi nodded and put his jacket on. “Good, chess can wait until tomorrow.”

Spencer wanted to disagree. He’d wasted 8 years after Gideon left. He could have tried harder to keep in contact with him, so those years wouldn’t be wasted, lost forever. Spencer just wanted one more game with him, a chance to say all the things he never got the chance or the courage to say.

“Yeah, it can wait. Goodnight Rossi, see you tomorrow.”

He waited for Rossi to smile and leave before he stood up. Spencer put on his jacket and grabbed his gab. But he was unable to look away from the chess board. He looked back to make sure Rossi was gone, before he set his bag back down, took off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves and made a fresh pot of coffee.

Spencer put his cup on the desk and focused on the chess board. As he reached for a piece, his hand shook and before he knew what happened, tears fell from his eyes to land on the board and the papers next to it. He tried taking deep breaths, making his body try to calm down, until he remembered that blood-soaked sheet covering Gideon’s body.

For the first time since he learned of Gideon’s death, Spencer let himself feel it. He put his arms on the desk and let the tears fall as he laid his head down. He hadn’t expected to cry so hard but with each breath he took, his body began to shake violently. He cried for everything, cried for his loss, Gideon’s lost years, and he cried for the wasted time and that his mentor was gone forever. Spencer cried until his body had no more tears to give and his body ached all over.

Spencer sat up, tucked his body into the large office chair, grabbed his jacket off the desk and used it as a blanket. He sat that way for what felt like forever, until sleep took him, leading him down a memory lane full of nightmares and monsters.

**  
Derek managed to get half-way home before he realized that he’d forgotten his briefcase at the BAU. He had been so scatter brained lately, dealing with Gideon’s death and worrying himself into an early grave think of anything that could, or might be able to help Spencer. He would never forget his distraught face when Hotch confirmed it was Gideon. Derek knew he would have to do something about Spencer. Spencer had a bad habit of closing himself off in times of pain, stress and loss. What he feared most of all, was Spencer having a relapse. That was Spencer’s greatest fear, something he had no control over, and all control.

He was so spaced out on thoughts of Spencer, that he didn’t realize he was already pulling into the parking lot. He locked his truck and walked into the nearly empty building. Derek waited for the elevator and it took him up 6 floors before it opened again. He didn’t see anyone around, but he could smell a fresh pot of coffee.

He walked into the bullpen and shook his head when he noticed that Spencer’s desk light was on. Spencer was so out of it lately, that it wasn’t a surprise he left it on. He walked towards the chaotic desk and as he reached over to turn the light off, Derek heard Spencer whimpering. He put a hand on the back of the chair and turned it, seeing Spencer curled in on himself like he was five feet tall instead of over six.

Spencer’s feet were tucked in and the kid was using his jacket as a blanket. Even in the low lighting, Derek could see the dark bags under Spencer’s eyes. Derek took a moment to watch him sleep. Nothing overly creepy, it was just that Spencer was always in motion, never at rest. Even now as he slept, Derek could see the wheels in his genius brain spinning.   
The kid deserved a break, a little down time to relax but Spencer didn’t do that.

Derek looked down at the desk, a pang of sadness shot through his heart as he saw the chess board. But there was something else he noticed. Derek touched the water stained paper but didn’t see any signs of a water source. It was tears. Spencer finally let himself feel the loss, to mourn their dead friend. 

He looked back at Spencer, to notice how exhausted he was. He only wished Spencer wouldn’t grieve alone. That he would entrust him to help or to at least witness it. Derek had made the offer many times, only for Spencer to insist that he didn’t need it, that he was fine. Derek reached down to brush all that unruly hair from Spencer’s face and he stirred in his sleep. He didn’t wake up like Derek thought he would, but that quiet whimper started again.

“Reid,” Derek said softly, as not to startle him too much.

When Spencer didn’t respond with no more than a whimper, Derek knelt and put his hand against Spencer’s flushed cheek and rubbed his thumb back and forth against his jaw.

“Pretty boy,” Derek tried again, this time a little louder than before.

Derek watched Spencer open his eyes slowly and looked at him. Spencer gave a confused look and Derek could see the second the memories came back to him. Those hazel eyes filled with tears and Spencer turned his face into his arm to shield his grief from Derek. Nothing broke his hear more than seeing Spencer cry. Derek leaned forward and wrapped his arms around him, holding him tight.

“Come on kid, you know you don’t have to hid from me like that.” Derek spoke softly into his ear, as he gently rocked them side to side.

“Derek…” Spencer trailed off as he sobbed harder.

Derek gripped him tighter. “I know Spencer, I know.”

And he did know. Each day since they learned of Gideon’s death, he watched Spencer drift away, close himself off. Derek was just grateful that he was here now, when Spencer let himself feel it all. The worst part was that he couldn’t make this any better, he couldn’t take the pain away. 

“I can’t Derek…” Spencer mumbled. “I just can’t…”

“Yes, you can pretty boy. Just feel it.”

“It hurts Derek.”

Derek pulled back and laid his head against Spencer’s and cupped his face. He wiped the tears away and had to hold back his own emotions. “I know how much it hurts you baby boy. I see it in your eyes all day, every day we are together. I want to take away the pain, but I don’t know how.”

Spencer gripped Derek tightly as the tears fell faster down his cheeks. “He’s gone.”

Derek did the only thing he could, he brushed his thumb over Spencer’s quivering lips. “Look at me baby.”

Spencer met his eyes and he and Derek were very aware of the fact that Derek had called him baby. When he got Spencer’s attention, Derek leaned in and slowly kissed his lips. Just one kiss, and he pulled back to gauge Spencer’s reaction. Ultimately it was the same, only shock now showed on his face. When Spencer didn’t shy away, Derek leaned forward again to kiss him. This time, Derek allowed his tongue to lick over Spencer’s lips and spencer’s mouth opened for him.

The kiss was slow with Derek doing most of the work, Spencer just allowed him to lick inside of his mouth and didn’t pull away. Derek couldn’t help the groan he gave. He wasn’t trying to take advantage of Spencer’s pain to get what he wanted, so he pulled back.

“Derek…?” Spencer asked, looking into dark brown eyes.

Derek smoothed over his wet lips with his thumb. “I know you’re hurting baby, but I’m here for you.”

“You kissed me.” Was all Spencer could say.

Derek smiled. “You didn’t hear a word I said, did you?” Derek kissed the corner of his mouth quickly. “And yes, I did kiss you.

“Why?”

Derek sighed heavily. “Because, I care about you Spencer and I’m sorry for your pain.” Derek watched Spencer close his eyes and lick over his lips. “Come on, I’ll drive you home.”

“No, I don’t want to go back that empty place.”

“Why not?”

“Because, all I do there, is think and I don’t want to think right now.”

Derek gave another sigh. “You can’t stay here baby, you need to sleep, eat and you need to rest.”

“Every time I close my eyes, all I see is a bloody sheet covering his body.” Spencer shook the image from his mind. “I can’t stop seeing it Derek and I can’t get it out of my head long enough to sleep.”

Derek knew exactly what he felt. That bloody sheet haunted him for days. “I guess there is no other choice then. If you won’t go home and I’m not letting you sleep here another night.”

“What?” Spencer asked.

Derek moved away and put one arm under Spencer’s knees, the other around his waist and lifted him out of the chair. “I’m not letting you sleep here again.”

Spencer tried to wiggle enough to get down, but Derek easily carried him to the elevator. “Derek, put me down. What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m doing what I can to help you. I’m taking you to my place. You’re going to eat, shower and sleep.”

Spencer did everything he could to get down, but Derek was strong and unrelenting. “No Derek, just take me home.”

He ignored Spencer’s wiggling and his attempts to get down. He held him tightly as the elevator moved down to the bottom floor. The wiggling only made him smile, he knew Spencer wasn’t putting maximum effort to get away. Deep down, Spencer knew he needed the help. 

“You can’t keep this up pretty boy. Your body and that genius brain of yours requires sleep and a break or it won’t function right.” Derek shot back as he jerked the passenger side of his truck open and sat Spencer inside. He reached across him to buckle the seat belt and he was very aware of how Spencer gasped as the belt clicked into place right over his hips.

“I don’t want to put you out like that. You have more important things to do instead of babysitting me.”

Derek rolled his eyes, leaned back into the seat and kissed him. Unlike the last time, Spencer kissed him back on this one. It was just a sweet brush of his lips, but it was perfect.   
Derek meant to pull back, but his hand went to Spencer’s face instead, urging him into another kiss, a deeper kiss. Reluctantly, he pulled back and licked over his lips. He had to smile when Spencer gave a little whine. “Just trust me baby and let me help you.”

Spencer nodded and watched Derek go around to the driver’s side door. That was the third time Derek had kissed him and he wasn’t sure why, so he asked. “You kissed me again.”

Derek started his truck and began driving towards his house, a smile still on his face. “You know, for a genius, you state the obvious a lot.”

Spencer scuffed and looked out the window, secretly touching his lips. “I do that, so I don’t get anything confused with something it’s not.

“Does it bother you?”

Spencer shook his head. “No, I rather enjoy it. I’m just not sure why you would.” He pulled his legs up into the seat to rest against the dash and gave a little shudder.

Derek noticed and turned the heat on high. As he reached the first red light, Derek shrugged off his leather jacket and put it around Spencer’s body.

“Thank you.” Spencer smiled sweetly at him and pulled the warm, Derek smelling jacket up around his face and breathed the smell in deep.

Derek watched the entire thing and grinned. “You smelling my jacket?”

Spencer nodded. “It smells good.”

“Does it?” Derek asked and quirked an eyebrow.

“Smells like that small coffee shop you like to go to. The one where that old woman gives you free muffins.”

Derek laughed. “Yeah, she’s been after my number for years.”

“It smells like that and a hint of gunpowder.” Spencer took another deep breath and closed his eyes. “It’s very calming. Makes me feel safe, warm and so comfortable.”

That shouldn’t have pleased him as much as it did, but he wanted Spencer to feel all those things and if the smell of his jacket provided Spencer with those feelings, he could keep the damn jacket. “I’m happy it makes you feel that way pretty boy. You can keep it if you want.”

“Your jacket?”

Derek nodded. “Yeah, if it helps.” He smiled when Spencer took another deep breath.

“I’ll think about it, but that smell will only last for so long.”

Derek laughed. “Then when you wash it, I can wear it again for a bit. Sound good?”

Spencer nodded and yawned. He closed his eyes, he was warm and so very tired.

“Good. Just a few more minutes and we’ll be there.” Derek looked over to see that Spencer’s eyes were already closed. He smiled and drove, happy that Spencer was finally letting   
himself rest.

The rest of the drive home was quiet, except for Spencer’s steady breathing. It gave him time to figure out what he was supposed to do. Spencer needed a friend, someone to listen and be there for him. To tell him everything would be okay. Spencer didn’t need him trying to kiss him all the time. Derek needed to cool it and be a friend.

As he pulled up to his townhouse, Derek turned off the truck and looked over at Spencer. the kid was happily curled up against the door and didn’t budge when Derek lightly shook his arm. “Baby…” Derek said without thinking. He shook his head when he realized what he’d said.

Spencer didn’t respond, so he got out and carefully opened Spencer’s door and had to catch his head, so he didn’t fall out. Spencer was knocked out cold. Derek shook his head and once again scooped him up and shut the truck door and walked to the front door of his house, juggling his keys as he managed to unlock it without dropping him. Derek walked into total darkness to the back of the house where his room was at.

He gently laid Spencer down on his side of the bed and clicked on the bathroom light so Spencer didn’t wake up in the dark. He went back out to his truck to gather his brief case and Spencer’s messenger bag before going back inside. HE set them down on the floor next to the bedroom door. Derek thought about waking him up but decided to let him snooze until he got some food. Derek went into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator; empty. He quickly improvised and ordered take out from Spencer’s favorite place.

When Derek went back into his room and checked on Spencer, he found him in exactly the same spot as he left him. as tired as he was, Derek could only focus on Spencer. He quickly took Spencer’s shoes off and pulled the jacket up around his face. Five minutes later, the food arrived, and he would have to wake him up. But he just sat beside the bed and brushed Spencer’s hair back. “Spencer…” He didn’t move a muscle. “Come on baby boy, you need to eat.” This time, Spencer scrunched up his face and pulled the jacket closer. Derek smiled and leaned down to kiss his cheek.

“Hmmm?” Spencer groaned.

Derek kept his face close as he spoke. “You need to wake up and eat a little something.”

“I’m too tired to eat.” Spencer said, even as his stomach growled.

Derek laughed. “Come on kid, I got your favorite.” He wiggled his eyebrows and got Spencer to crack a smile.

“I guess food wouldn’t hurt…” 

Derek stood and offered Spencer his hand. “Atta boy, you can sleep after.”

Spencer took his hand and let Derek haul him to his feel and his entire body ached something awful. “I feel horrible.”

Derek put his arm over Spencer’s shoulder and together they walked into the kitchen. “That’s what stress will do to your body. And you haven’t been taking care of yourself lately.”

“I do too,” he insisted.

Derek put Spencer’s food in front of him and watched his hazel eyes widen. “No, you don’t.” he said back.

“You got my favorite.” Spencer said with a smile as he looked down at the steaming food.

Derek grinned and sat across from him. “I did. And you are gonna start taking better care of yourself or this will become permanent.”

Spencer choked on the food he had in his mouth. “You can’t just abduct me.”

“Yes, I can, and I will.” He waited for Spencer to argue or come back with some smartass reply but he didn’t, they sat in silence until their food was gone. He grinned when Spencer   
sat back against the chair with a heavy sigh. “Good?”

Spencer nodded. “Feels like I haven’t eaten like that in forever.”

Derek glared at him and he had the audacity to blush. “Regular meals and sleep, yes?”

“Yes.” Spencer had no choice but to agree.

“Good,” he smiled. “You wanna talk about it now?”

“Talk about what?”

Derek gave him that look. “Don’t play games kid, you know what I’m asking you.”

Spencer looked away. “I don’t want…there is nothing to talk about.”

“Yes, there is. If it’s killing you like this, it’s worth talking about.”

Spencer was starting to get annoyed. “What? You want me to talk about how I’m handling Gideon’s death?” He put his arms out to gesture to himself. “How does it look like I’m doing?”

Derek looked, really looked and it wasn’t good. In this light, he could see the dark bags under his eyes, his skin was paler than normal, and he’d lost some weight since he last remembered; Spencer looked homeless. Derek could also see the unshed tears in Spencer’s eyes, he wasn’t holding it together at all. Derek had to fix this. He walked around the counter to stand in front of him.

“Pretty boy…”

Spencer cut him off. “The truth, don’t sugar coat it.”

Derek sighed. “You look broken down baby. I can see how exhausted you are, but you’re too afraid to sleep. I can see that you’ve lost about 5 pounds and you’ve been sleeping at the BAU ever since we found him. I know you aren’t holding it together as well as you’d like me to believe, or as well as you think you are.”

Spencer broke eye contact and looked down to his feet, giving him a nod as his only answer.

Derek grabbing his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “I know you’re trying. I know you want to fight it, but you can’t baby. You have to deal with the pain, so you can heal after.”

“Dealing with it means I have to accept it and if I do that, then that means Gideon is really gone.”

“You know, but you can’t keep this up much longer. Let me help you.”

“How?” Spencer asked, wiping his face and looked back at him.

“Do you trust me?”

Spencer nodded without hesitation.

Derek took his hand and slowly walked them back to his room. They didn’t need to speak. No amount of words could fix this or help in any way. Once inside the bedroom, Derek left Spencer by the bed and went to start a hot shower. Within moments, steamed filled the bathroom and he went back to collect Spencer. He was still standing in the spot where he’d left him. Without speaking, Derek slowly unbuttoned Spencer’s shirt until he was able to peel it back.

“Derek…”

He silenced him with his mouth, giving him a slow kiss while his hands moved to Spencer’s slacks, undoing the button in front. He slowly slid them past Spencer’s ass, as he gave him another kiss. The kiss wasn’t all sexual, it was meant to comfort him, to give him something else to think about. When his pants hit the floor, Derek broke the kiss, never breaking eye contact even though he wanted to see Spencer’s body. Derek took his hand and led him into the bathroom. He opened the shower door and turned to face Spencer again. Spencer hadn’t said anything yet, and he was very calm. Spencer trusted him in this moment, completely.

“You are going to shower.”

Spencer just nodded.

Derek hooked his fingers into Spencer’s boxers and slid them down. He couldn’t help it, Derek glanced down and saw just how gorgeous Spencer’s body was. His skin was pale and smooth, lightly muscled with slip hips and long legs. As much as he wanted to look up, Derek couldn’t tear his eyes away from Spencer’s cock. Derek licked his lips and let his fingers slightly trail over Spencer’s flat stomach.

“Oh baby…” he breathed.

“What?” Spencer asked nervously.

Derek looked up and him, seeing those hazel eyes wide. “You’re perfect Spencer.”

“I’ve never…” Spencer trailed off, licking his lips.

Derek knew what he meant. This is what he didn’t want to happen. This wasn’t supposed to be a sexual thing… “Spencer…”

“You don’t want to?” Spencer asked.

Derek could hear the doubt in his voice. “I want to…I was trying to help you though.”

“You are.”

“Wanting you like that…right now, isn’t helping.”

“But you do want me, right?”

Derek gave him a heated look and took Spencer’s hand, knowing it would help him understand but it was a bad idea, and put it on his groin. They both groaned at the contact. “Does that answer your question?”

Spencer licked his lips and nodded. “You just don’t want me right now?”

Derek knew he wasn’t explaining very well. “Baby, I want you every second of every day, but I’m supposed to be helping you as your friend right now.” He moved Spencer’s hand off his cock. “If I could have it my way, I’d push you up against that wall and grind against your sexy body.”

Spencer’s body flashed hotly, that pool of lust forming in his belly again. “What if I’m okay with your way?”

Derek growled and gripped him behind the neck and he wanted to kiss him so badly, his body shook with the need, but he just breathed through it. “Baby please,” he begged. “I’m so close to my breaking point.”

Spencer smiled shyly. It wasn’t every day he could turn Derek into jello like this. It was such a turn on, but Derek sounded desperate, so he gave in, for now. “Fine, I’ll shower.”

Derek breathed a sigh of relief and opened the shower door. As Spencer stepped in, he had to look at his ass, just once. He let out a choked sound and hauled his ass outside the room before he did a little grinding right now. Derek leaned against the wall and his hand went to his cock, palming himself a few times. This was not about sex…. this was not about sex… He had to say it over and over again.

He needed something to do to keep him from busting in there and joining Spencer under the water. Derek needed to figure out the sleeping arrangements. He had 2 rooms, but he used the other one as a workout room and even though his couch was somewhat comfortable, it was not for getting any rest. Spencer could take his bed and he would either sleep on the couch, or on the floor.

Looking at his bed, Derek wondered if he should change the sheets or not…he changed them yesterday, so they weren’t dirty per say, until he remembered that Spencer took comfort in his smell and the bed did smell like him, so he left it. Derek moved his jacket to the foot of the bed and turned down the heavy blanket and sheets, the bed was ready. But what would Spencer wear? He knew that Spencer had worn the same clothes for at least two days in a row and he didn’t have a bag with him, which meant no change of clothes. Derek rifled through all his clothes, everything would be way too big on Spencer’s willowy body.

He had to repeat the same line…This wasn’t about sex…. This wasn’t about sex… when he imagined Spencer in his clothes. When he got his mind straight again, Derek opted on a pair of sweat pants with a draw string, so he could adjust them within reason and one of his older, smaller shirts. It would still be baggy but manageable. By the time he was finished, Spencer still hadn’t come out of the bathroom. Maybe he realized he had nothing to wear….

Derek went to the door and knocked lightly and waited. He could still hear the shower running, but there was no interruption in the water stream, so Spencer wasn’t standing under it. When Spencer didn’t answer after a few moments, Derek knocked again. “Spencer, you alright?”

No answer.

Derek tried the door and it was unlocked. He didn’t go in, yet, but he knocked a little louder this time. “Kid, you done?”

The only answer he got was sniffling. 

Derek sighed, Spencer was crying again. “Baby, I’m comin in.” he went in, trying to see through the shower but Spencer wasn’t in there, or at least he didn’t see him. He could only hear the soft cries. Derek opened the shower and saw Spencer sitting on the floor, his knees pulled up to his chest, head in his arms and was slowly rocking back and forth.

“Oh baby…” he mumbled sadly, kicking off his shoes and walked in, clothes and all, into the shower. He knelt and put a hand on Spencer’s shoulder. Spencer leaned into the touch   
and Derek held him as best he could.

“I’m sorry…” Spencer mumbled. “I thought I was over this.”

“Shhh, you don’t have to do that baby. I understand. I shouldn’t have left you alone like that.”

Spencer sniffled. “I thought I was fine. I showered and then I just lost it.”

Derek flinched as the water got colder and his clothes were soaked and clung to his body. “You ready to get out?”

Spencer nodded but didn’t move.

Derek was once again lifting him up naked and wet and shaking. He moved out of the shower slowly, so he didn’t slip and grabbed a towel to sling around Spencer’s body, trying to dry him off. His own clothes leaked water all over the ground with every step. As he went to set Spencer down on the bed, he clung to him. Arms wrapped tightly around his neck, his face buried in his chest. Derek took a moment to lay his head on top of Spencer’s and closed his eyes.

“I gotta put you down for just…”

“No, please.”

Derek smiled. “I have to baby. I’m dripping water everywhere.”

Spencer untucked his face and noticed Derek’s wet clothes and the puddle under his feet. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. Can I put you down for a second?”

Spencer nodded.

Derek set him down and covered his lap with the towel. He grabbed another one from the bathroom and began to dry him off. “I got you some clothes if you want to change.”

Spencer smiled and saw the clothes on the bed. “Thank you.”

Derek smiled back and went into the bathroom to change. Handing his wet clothes over the shower. When he went back into the room, Spencer was snuggly curled up under the blankets, his face pressed into Derek’s pillow. Derek knew Spencer was awake, so he pulled the blankets up further.  
“Try and rest, okay?”

Spencer nodded and buried his head into Derek’s pillow until he realized that Derek wasn’t getting into bed. “Wait…”

Derek paused by the door. “Yeah baby?”

“Aren’t you staying?” He asked, keeping the blankets up to his neck.

“Yeah, I’m gonna crash on the couch.”

“But…” Spencer trailed off, looking away quickly.

Derek could see the panic in his eyes and walked to the other side of the bed. “You want me to sleep here too?”

Spencer blushed but nodded. “Please. I don’t want to be alone.”

Derek pulled back the blankets and caught a flash of Spencer’s naked body under the blankets. His eyes went wide, and he looked over to see Spencer calm and unaffected. He looked to the foot of the bed to see the clothes still laying there. Now he hesitated on getting in. Chanting, “this was not about sex”, repeatedly.

“Spencer…you didn’t want to change?” 

Spencer blushed deeper this time, catching the blanket as it tried to slip past his shoulder. “I’m a little over sensitive right now, they kinda make my skin hurt. Is that okay?”

Derek groaned silently. This was NOT about sex… “Yeah, if you’re more comfortable that way.” Derek climbed into bed and did his best not to rub up against any part of Spencer’s naked body. His self-control only went so far. When Spencer was the one who scooted closer, Derek flinched. Spencer curled up to his side, head on his chest and tangling their legs together.

Spencer put his face to Derek’s chest and inhaled. “This okay?”

Derek swallowed thickly but nodded, trying to ignore Spencer’s bare legs tangling with his own. It was odd how natural this felt, his arm moved to wrap around Spencer and he tangled his hand into his hair. This was his definition of perfect and he could feel how much more relaxed Spencer was like this. If the kid needed to be naked…fine. If he needed   
to be close to him…fine. 

“This is nice…” Spencer said after a while.

“Yes, it is. You okay?”

Spencer nodded, his hand moving down to slip under Derek’s shirt, so he could stroke over his muscled stomach and his chest. “Thank you.”

Derek closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of his hands on him like this for a moment. “For what?”

“Everything.” Spencer moved Derek’s shirt up enough, so he could plant a kiss on his chest, he could hear the sharp intake of breath above him. “Without you, I wouldn’t be doing   
this good right now.”

Derek shuddered, pulling lightly on Spencer’s hair. “No need to thank me baby…. Spencer.” he corrected quickly. Derek looked over to see Spencer placing kisses all over his chest. “Spence…”

“Hmm?” Spencer asked between kisses.

“What are you doin?” he asked, trying to control his breathing.

Spencer turned on his stomach for a better angle to kiss over him. “I’m saying thank you.”

Derek moaned, giving in for a few more kisses. “Baby, you don’t need to thank me like that.”

“But I want to. You’ve done so much for me today.”

Derek watched with heated eyes as the sheet slipped down to pool at Spencer’s hips. All that skin bare to his eyes as Spencer leaned down to kiss over his chest again, going lower each time. He couldn’t say how much he wanted this, but it was misplaced affection. Spencer felt indebted to him.

“Baby…don’t.”

Spencer rose up and cocked his head. “Why?”

“Because, you don’t need to do this. I’m happy to help you, but you don’t owe me anything for it.”

“And if I’m doing this because I want to, then what?”

“I wouldn’t feel right. I feel like I’m taking advantage.”

“You’re not.” Spencer crawled up to put their heads together like Derek had done.

Derek felt Spencer’s hand move from his belly, down lower and under the sheet. He grabbed Spencer’s hand just before it could wrap around his painfully hard cock. “I want it too baby, but it has to be because you want me, not because you feel like you owe me.”

“I want you Der, just because I want you. Not because you helped me.”

Derek held onto Spencer’s hips as he flipped them, so he was on top. He caged Spencer in with his body ad kissed him softly. Hearing Spencer moan and open for him made him surge forward. They kissed urgently until they needed to pull back and breathe. 

“Please Der…”

Derek smiled and brushed Spencer’s hair back. “Not tonight baby.”

“Derek,” Spencer whined.

He grinned. “All you get tonight are my lips, but not any lower than your hips.”

Spencer whined again. “Wait, you said tonight. As in…?”

Derek nodded. “We can do more when we are level headed. But I will happily kiss you all night.”

Spencer smoothed his hands up and down Derek’s sides. “I guess I can deal with that.”

“Kisses tonight, and talking about everything…”

“But…”

“Or, I could go to the couch instead. Your choice.”

Spencer couldn’t help but whine. “Fine. Start kissin me.”

Derek grinned. “I’d be more than happy to pretty boy.”


End file.
